Comments from Friends and Family
If you would like to add your comments, email them to the Friends and Family Parent Liaison, Joe Seidler
Player's Thoughts:
Great web page about the parents perspective. I can say from personal experience, having my dad at my tournaments is a great help. I play for Ring of Fire and the past 4 Nationals my dad has been in attendance. Possibly the greatest help comes from the fact that he takes care of all the details for me. I can show up to play, no worries about rental cars or meals, they are all taken care of, but that is an ancillary benefit. The obvious reward is the bond that is created between us. So, hopefully your website will get more players to offer those invitations to their parents. Congratulations to the Condors on their championship, your son had a large part in that. He shows great sportsmanship and also he is pretty tough to guard too.
Sandy
Father's Thoughts:
Our son has been playing for several years, started in high school, was part of the U.S. Junior Team, and has been playing for Brown University (Brownian Motion) for the past three years. Ultimate is a great sport and it has influenced all of us in a very positive way. We are very proud of our son and the sport that he has chosen and has a great deal of passion for. We have been to several tournaments through the years and have housed and fed Ultimate teams now and then. The Ultimate community throughout the country has been great for our son and his team, wherever they have been. The Spirit of the Game exists on and off the field. It is wonderful.
Thanks again for putting the website up. Great idea.
Sincerely,
Steve
Mother's Thoughts:
My daughter, Holly, sent me your paean to the sport of Ultimate and its athletes. It is beautiful. I am a long-distance Ultimate mom who made it to Nationals at the last minute when a meeting I *had* to attend was cancelled. Drove 700 miles to Sarasota and was thrilled to be there. There was one other parent (who had flown in from Westchester) there. It is astonishing to me that there is so little parental support of this wonderful game. Guess it isn't *official* unless you are sitting in the stands screaming at the referees and the kids...
We watched the Condors/DoG game...WOW! What an amazing game. Holly knows some of the Condors players from her travels to Ultimate games around the country and we were cheering for them. Told her to let me know as soon as she knew when/where the next Nationals was so I could start saving my money!!
Thanks again for sharing your perspective,
Lyn
Daughter/Player's Thoughts:
I just had the chance to check out your website and think it's great. It's awesome that you have taken the time to put together such a nice site and to encourage other parents to come out. I love the respect you demonstrate for the game and its players and the obvious loving support you've given to your son and his team. It really exemplifies what, to me, is so great about this sport and to see it carried beyond the field and the players to the parents is fantastic. It meant so much to me to have my mom at Nationals (and only more so that she drove so far to get there). I can't imagine having not had her there. I've talked about Ultimate since I first started playing several years ago and she's come to every tournament possible. It's great to be able to share that with her and to know that she understands what a big part of my life it is.
Holly
Father's Thoughts:
There were two nodal communications that led to my going to some of Andy's games. He and I have been in reasonably close communication all his life, yet he was involved in Ultimate for several years before I ever suspected it was particularly important to him. He said to me one day, "This feels like the biggest thing I've ever done." I was taken aback. I'd heard him talk about it a bit, but I never thought it was more than a passing college diversion for him. Athletics and team anythings were never a big part of my college or young adult life, so it had never occurred to me that sort of thing might be important to him (and other NORMAL people). The other point was when I finally got the message that he CARED whether I saw him play or not.
So my suggestion is--somehow ask the kids (presumably on newsgroups or via e-mail whatever others means you try to establish to get to them) whether they have ACTUALLY TOLD their parents that playing Ultimate is important to them and whether they have ACTUALLY CONVEYED that they would be really happy about their parents COMING to see them play.
The other mechanism, if you can figure out how to contact Ultimate parents directly, is to convey to them that playing the game may be more important--much more important--to their kids than they imagine. And that--bless them--their kids would be really proud and pleased to have them watch them play.
Richard
Father's Thanks:
Thanks Joe for encouraging me several years ago to attend my son's first national championship tournament. Win or lose they are an unforgettable life experience, not only with my son but with the entire team.
Phil
Mother's Comments:
I am a parent of a Seaweed/Wahini player (University of North Carolina - Wilmington) and have been actively supporting the team for the past three years. As my daughter will soon graduate and be making the transition into club Ultimate, it is great to see that the parent contingent is still active at this level of play. Years ago, when my son was playing soccer, the coach made an interesting observation. He felt that the play improved when the parents were on the sidelines. It would be interesting to see if this is true when the "child" is now 25. I can attest that being on the sidelines definitely helps the parent maintain a more youthful outlook on life.
Diane
Mother's Comments About 2000 Club Nationals:
I'm so thrilled! To see my son this happy does so much for me and about everything I am or ever have been. I know you understand what I'm talking about. Thank you Marcia for the daily reports and believe me, if I had a private plane, it would have been the both of us soaring down to see that championship game.
With love,
Pam
Mother's Comments:
It makes me very happy to think Ted includes me in his life. So many parents lose their grown children and only make the perfunctory visit a couple of times a year. Ted and I understand each other and really love being together.
Lots of love,
Carolyn
Player's Comments:
I've been playing ultimate since 1984, been to nationals about 8 times, and it's changed my life in many great ways. My mom has seen me play once, and my dad has never even seen the game. Not to take away from them, I've got a wonderful relationship with them and I get to spend lots of quality time with them on the golf course and eating meals etc... But ultimate is weird - it's such a big chunk of my life and one they don't "get."
Anyway, I've got a 3 year old and a 1 year old, and I wanted to let you know that you're sort of a role model for me - a parent who can find a way to be involved with his child's life without that need to compete vicariously or push them when they don't need pushing. I like to think I will be able to store away these lessons for later when I'll need them with my kids.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, and thanks for being such a cool dad.
Rich
Hi.
I'm a dad with two sons. We had a pretty normal family until in Jason's sophomore year at UCSB he asked us for a special birthday present. He wanted a few of his Ultimate teammates to stay at our house while they were playing a tournament nearby. We said yes. That began something that changed our family. Later that year, he asked if the entire team could stay over for the weekend of another tournament. We said yes again, and we were hooked. We began going to his Ultimate tournaments - a lot of them. We even made a vacation out of a tournament in San Diego for Jason's birthday. We've been going to Ultimate tournaments ever since. And not just me. My wife, Marcia, has been there too and cooked meals for the team when they were at our house (sometimes with the womens team also). And our older son, Stephen, went to quite a few tournaments. He became the team videographer, and between the two of us we now have video tapes of many games.
Ultimate brought our family together while our sons were in college. I don't think it's easy to do that since kids usually want to be on their own in college. It's hard to find topics of common interest (that's a nice way of putting it). We spent hours and hours together on the field and with the team at our house. We would talk about Ultimate on the phone while Jason was away at school. We bonded. Well actually it might be more accurate to say I bonded. I think my wife had already done it with the boys. It helped us create a family environment that I thought only happened in the movies or on TV. I am very thankful to Ultimate and the great athletes, both men and women, we have become friends with, close friends. I hope other parents take the opportunity Ultimate gives them to spend more time with their children.
--Joe Seidler
